Rated PG-13 for language, violence, adult content and some frightening sequences

By Patrick Sessoms
BEACON COLUMNIST

posted Sep 14, 2012 - 4:41:15pm

With a title that sounds almost like a rejected Bond movie, The Cold Light of Day is a suspenseless spy flick that leaves audiences checking their watches, wondering when it all will end. Its cobbled-together act structure, boring characters, and plot that seems desperate to emulate ideas from better movies come together to create one of the blandest films of the year.

However, the worst damage done by the film is casting doubt on star Henry Cavill’s ability to step into the role of Superman in next year’s Man of Steel. This, of course has nothing to do with The Cold Light of Day, but only serves to drive home just what a disaster the film truly is.

Cavill plays an incredibly unlikely hero with daddy issues who spends the majority of the film spazzing his way through action sequences. As Immortals showed us last year, the rising star is certainly a capable physical performer, so one has to wonder why he flounders about here. The only logical excuse is that his character is essentially a fish out of water in the world he’s thrust into when his family is kidnapped. But still, the guy at least has to know that you point the long end of the gun toward the bad person.

Cavill finds out that his father (Bruce Willis) is actually a government spook and has been lying to his family for years. The sudden reveal comes when supposed terrorists kidnap his family, pushing the two into a father/son adventure for about 15 minutes before Willis is killed off (along with all hopes for a good movie) and Cavill is forced to play superspy by going toe-to-toe with the dreaded… Sigourney Weaver.

The Cold Light of Day plays the like shadow of the films it tries so hard to emulate, but it never captures what made the others so great. Instead, it presents boring characters in action sequences that are an atrocious blend of realistic and over-the-top: realistic in the sense that they’re all just so incredibly anticlimactic, and over-the-top in that they never seem to end. Every time the hero leaps into action, eyes start rolling in the audience. Who would have known that car chases and gun fights could be so boring?

Then again, it might have something to do with the fact that it’s hard to care about the characters or the plot. This is a mindless movie that can’t quite get the audience to turn off their brains, mostly because it’s filled with unresolved issues, ridiculous coincidences and moments that will make you scratch your head and think, “Wait a second..."

Director Mabrouk El Mechri barely cobbles together a competent movie from the atrocious script penned by Scott Wiper and John Petro. At times, he seems to be almost as confused as the audiences must be over what kind of movie he’s really trying to make. More importantly, though, The Cold Light of Day feels like something people would be forced to endure at 30,000 feet. It certainly isn't worth catching in theaters (if ever), and it's unlikely any of the stars will live this one down any time soon. So, if you’re interested in a good spy flick, it’s best not to look here.

Stars & Popcorn grade: 1 star, 1 popcorn

— Born and raised in the sunshine state, Patrick grew up loving movies. He’s currently attending the University of Central Florida and is a Cinema Studies major. Along with being the president of Stars and Popcorn, he’s a player in the independent comics scene.

Sponsored by Liebe Entertainment Group, Marketplace 8. Click here to see showtimes for The Cold Light of Day

Visit Stars and Popcorn at www.starsandpopcorn.com

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